Mustard Seeds

Mustard Seeds

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Perspectives are Interesting

So... Laura and I are besties. We live together, spend a TON of time together, read each other really well, and tell each other everything. We ride on my motorcycle together, shop together, go to dinner together, and laugh together. And that is totally fine... in the Christian community at least. Let me explain. Today Laura and I went to Templeton to go to lunch with my grandparent's and to meander around Target. When my grandpa saw the helmet we were using for Laura (it is incredibly unsafe) he took us to the Honda shop. He actually bought me a new helmet! And lunch! I love my grandpa and I couldn't thank him enough (Laura's head is especially grateful).

But the real story happens at the checkout counter with the guy ringing up the helmet. He had the gall to ask Laura and I what our relationship was! I said we were roommates, which was not enough to prove we love boys, so I also told him that we were NOT dating and that we really like guys. AWKWARD!!! But it gets weirder! He then asked Laura, "What if I told you I didn't beleive you? Would you go on a date with me to prove it?" Gross! Of course Laura had the best comeback ever for this. "No. At that point you can just believe what you want." =)

I wanted to tell him I LOVE JESUS! but I don't think that would have helped the situation. We laughed a little bit (you know the uncomfortable chuckle we all have), said something else that I can't remember, and then left. Laura, my Grandpa (luckily he is a strong Christian and understood), and I talked in the car about how when in a Christian community everyone knows that we are just friends. No one questions that we love the Lord (and guys) and that we are just close because we have Christ in our lives. We have gotten weird looks before but this took the cake!

Friday, October 30, 2009


I also made this the other day... For now it is blank but by the end of the year it should be filled with random stuff. The point is to fill it up with things that remind me of what God is doing in my life and to remind me of the blessings he has given me in my friends, experiences, and memories. I already have a few things on my canvas including a clover from Ireland, my bracelet from Summer Project, a coaster with the Cullen family crest on it also from Ireland (Twilight anyone?), and a Buddha statue from Amy's travels in Thailand. The Buddha is glued upside down on the bottom of the canvas. I thought it could be metaphorical for the place it has in my life as a god which is no place at all. If anything he looks cute just hanging there under the word creator and it makes me think of Amy, which is always good. =)

Hot Metal and New Tricks

I wanted to try something new today. This lead me to the soldering kit I got for my birthday last year that has been sitting in my craft drawer for 6 months. "Four easy steps to solder your own jewelry!" it proclaims. But I would like to call shenanigans on the box and say it was way more then four. First I had to read pages of instructions on how to use all the equipment, how to properly clean the soldering iron, how to hold and clamp the pieces, and how to even do the four "simple" steps. In the end, after about an hour and a half, this is what I accomplished. It is lumpy, not entirely silver, and the blue fabric got singed because I heated it too much. But I am sort of proud of my little necklace. The next one I make will hopefully look a little more professional since I started to get the technique at the end when it was already too late. =)



Thursday, October 29, 2009

Presents at the Desk

Thank you Harrison and Amy! 
(Harrison would not inform us of what the little creatures were. So your guess is as good as mine.)

A Day in the Life

Caitlin and Bailey's lives are a little more exciting then mine (seeing how they are in Scotland and Ireland) but let's just say I felt inspired by them. I am even beating Caitlin to her own idea. =) But here goes, a day (more like a week) in the life of a SLO college student (at least this Cal Poly Student)...

Monday, Wednesday
*Wake up at 10
*Homework and CA paperwork
*Class for 6 hours
*Worship practice (6-9:30) or my staff meeting (9-11)
*Homework, Late Dinner, Catching up with my roommate Laura
*Sleep! (hopefully enough to get up at 6 for work)

Tuesday, Thursday
*Work @6:45am
*Work for 7 hours
*Class for two hours
*Crusade from 5 to 11 or...
*Discipleship and my desk shift for three hours
*Homework, Dinner somewhere in there, Sleep

Of course there are other meetings, programs, coffee dates with friends, and quiet times sprinkled through this too but that's the basic outline. (And that's not even the stuff I have on the weekend like bible study planning, bible study, apartment visits, and rounds.) I think of it as my 6 to 11 day instead of the normal 9 to 5. But it is working out for me... barely. I need a lot of Jesus and a lot of good music to get me through. It is almost the weekend though and I get a short time of sanity once again. =) Right now I am at work but I get to go sharing with Hannah and Laura after class today and I am really looking forward to it! =)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Selfish Music

Revelation of the Weekend (Fall Retreat Weekend I mean... I am almost two weeks late.): I am selfish.

We had an acoustic worship set one night on retreat and my thought process was as follows...
"Yes! I am the only girl singing this set! (All the better to show off my skills of course.)" Then we get to practice and I find out we are sitting on chairs. "No! This is dumb. I don't want to sit, my thighs look fat when I sit and I am wearing shorts. Now I won't look cute up here." So we start Hosanna and Mike signals to me that I am leading it. "Perfect, I am totally going to rock this song! I get to sing the whole thing all by myself!" [insert train wreck here] "Dang it. I sound horrible and now I can't impress anyone with my voice. I can't believe I have to sing the rest of this song!" I continued to struggle with my voice through the next song too. Then I moped. " Well my heart is obviously in the wrong place. If I just make God my focus I will sound good and be happy. Perfect, now I just need to focus on God." Done. I sang like and angel and people were impressed with my skills. It was awesome!

Hardly. If that was the way it ended (the way I wanted it to end) the only thing I would learn is that worship is all about me. So I continue... "Ok, so if I am concerned with how I sound and I sound gross why am I up here?" [Insert revelation.] "I am selfish! The only reason I want my heart to change (to praising Jesus) is because I want to sound good. This is not a desire to praise God, this is a self-centered desire to sing better." So I thought of how blessed I am to be able to praise the Lord both on and off the stage. It made me realize what I was there for. My voice didn't sound any better to me but it no longer mattered what I sounded like. (It never matters.) I found my purpose in glorying God and I sang praises to Him instead of myself.

I wish this was a one time occurrence but unfortunately it isn't. This happens regularly as I lead worship with the band. I sing well? I praise myself. I sing horribly? I mope. And because he needs to the Lord points it out to me every time and brings my focus back to the one who matters. The one who deserves more praise that I can give him even on my best day!

Would Jesus ride a skateboard?

I admit it is random but listen to this boarder's philosophy on life... it might teach you something.

(Paraphrased. I couldn't write his ideas down as he was talking.That would have seemed like an interview.)
"I hang out with young kids at the skate park all the time. We always help each other out and buy each other food. That's my church. We all hang out and do what we love, skating. Prayer for me is a constant thing. I get up in the morning and thank God for waking me up. I see him in the trees and nature around me and I thank him for those things. My skating is my prayer too. I try new tricks all the time and ask God to help me land them. If I had any doubt about landing I would never try and I would never land new tricks. You just have to go for it and have faith that you will be fine and that God will help you. If you doubt that God will get you through you won't ever try anything. Life's a game, play it! Get up or get run over is what we always say."

I was convicted. Here was Johnny sitting by campus market on his skateboard showing me what I was doing wrong. He didn't believe in Jesus as our Savior which made my heart ache for him but yet he knew God. And he did not have God in a box. As he explained his philosophy on God I was stunned by his faith. He saw God in everything and thanked God for everything. He even told us it was God who lead us to have that conversation! (Which is so true!) I need to start looking for God in everything because he IS in everything. I need to live a life of worship. A life in constant conversation with God. A life that leads me to step out in faith and try new things. I need to remember how big God is and that he will catch me when I try new tricks in his name. Tomorrow? Maybe a kickflip...

Saturday, October 24, 2009


It is 4 in the morning. I am not tired.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Late Night

Experimental research. Paper writing. Stress. Big confusing words. Horrible articles. A fresh rose from the guys' house. Relaxation. Beauty.
God knew what he was doing when he made wild roses.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Keeping Perspective

Frustration. Discontentment. Sadness. Stress.
Yeah that pretty much sums up this past week…
At least from a limited perspective.
What about the prayer circle I had with my band last night?
What about the God given conversation I had with my hair stylist yesterday?
What about the lunch I had with Ashlee yesterday that calmed my heart?
What about Crusade last week when God met me where I was at and I could feel his presence?
What about that moment at worship practice last night when I realized how I blessed I am by my friends that I laughed out loud while singing because I couldn’t contain my thanks?
What about my plaid rain boots that keep my feet toasty and dry through all of the puddles?
What about the fact that I really do love the rain?
What about the fellowship I have, given to me by a powerful yet interested God?
In light of these blessings, my frustrations (the rain pouring through the window right now at work, the homework load I have with not a second to get it done, the severe lack of sleep I am fighting through, having to ride my motorcycle in the pouring rain, not being able to go to bible study, and the antsyness I have been feeling about everything) seem so small.

I have replayed this song over and over today:
"Remain" -Starfield
Defender of this heart
You loved me from the start
You never change
Through the highs and lows
As seasons come and go
You never fail
Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

You are God with us
You're victorious
You are strong and mighty to save
For Your word stands true
There is none like You
And when all else fades
You remain

When troubles come my way
You guide and You sustain
Lead me, I pray
Forever You will be
The great eternal King
Now and always


One of the guys who work for the police department came by my work this morning to pick up the money from yesterday and saw that I had ridden my motorcycle to work this morning in the pouring rain. He said, "you're f*in hard core, I like it." (He hates most people.) Worth it? Maybe... but I still want a car. =)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Everybody Likes Donuts...

...especially at night. Drunk people, sleeping travelers, gobs of high school boys on bicycles (who highly recommend the milk at Sunshine Donuts, in their words "it is the best milk on tap ever"), college students needing a break or coming back from line dancing, and adults who think we are crazy. Good times at the donut shop!

Thursday, October 8, 2009


"The successful candidate for Presidency and his opponent each have a solitude peculiarly his own, and good form forbide either in speak of his pleasure or regret. The solitude of the king on his throne and the prisoner in his cell differs in character and degree, but it is solitude nevertheless."
-Elizabeth Cady Stanton "Solitude of Self"

Thank you Lord that I never have to be alone!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

God Provides

I got off my motorcycle and clipped my key to my helmet. I power walked to my apartment, took a shower, shoved an oreo brownie in my mouth, grabbed my worship folder and a jacket and then picked up my helmet. I double checked to see if my key was in my helmet but it was no where to be found anywhere in my room. So I walked to my bike and it wasn't on the ground either. So I called Laura and described it to her. Lo and behold she had seen my key on the ground on the way back from class and another girl had picked it up. Laura let her have it since she was going to take it to her CA (which is what I am so she could have brought it to me just as easy, if not easier). So I called my front desk, no key. I went to the other front desk, no key. So I implemented plan C and was about to text all of the CA's I knew when a girl walked in the door holding my key! I was so excited to have my little piece of metal back since I was already late to Crusade and didn't have any other way of getting there. I thanked her and ran to my motorcycle as I called Mike (the worship leader) to tell him I was running late. Now the reason I am telling you this... if Laura had picked up the key and brought it home for me to deal with I would have thought "sweet, that was lucky!" But since it was a more complicated process to get my key back I had to trust the Lord and got to see him work. He lead me to pray and rely on him and in turn thank him more by having the other girl pick up the key. God made me wait, he used those extra minutes to remind me that even in the little things, like a lost key, he is present and acting on my behalf. He still provided for me as he always does, he just brought me along in the process.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Learning Through Boredom

"Since scheduling by its very nature selects what will and will not be perceived and attended and permits only a limited number of events in a given period, what gets scheduled in or out constitutes a system for setting priorities for both people and functions. Important things are taken up first and allotted the most time; unimportant things are left to last or omitted if time runs out." - Edward T. Hall,  "Beyond Culture"

I am in a class this quarter called Intercultural Communication and while I am not enjoying it as much as I thought I would, it is an interesting class. My reading for this next Monday consisted of reading two chapters in the book I quoted above. It was a very boring and uninteresting read but I labored through it (at least I am reading my school assignments for once right?). I was nearing the end when the above quote popped out at me. What do I tend to omit from my schedule and what do I always keep and allot time to? The answer was not good. The things that take up the majority of my schedule are sleep, my two jobs, TV, alone (me) time and a plethora of other things. The negative aspect of this is that the things that get cut are my quiet times with Jesus, my prep time for bible study, and the prayer times I always intend (intending is as close as I get) to have. These things are not unimportant! In fact they are the most important things in my life and I omitt them as if they are unworthy of my time and cuttable (new word) from my schedule when they should be unmoveable if I prioritized correctly. Leave it to God to teach me something even while I am prioritizing school over him =)...What are you giving time to?

Friday, October 2, 2009


Buttons are fascinating to me. Despite my lack of interest in history they are one thing that makes me feel connected to people from the past. That tiny piece of material (I really like the metal ones) has a history all it's own. Which I why I was so excited to get a bag of vintage buttons in my warm and fuzzy package. Someone once wore those buttons and once had them in thier sewing kit. Now they are in my craft bin but the journey they took to get here could have been quite exciting. =)


The term "care package" fails to fully describe the experience of getting a present in the mail (snail mail needs to be revived). All it takes is one email from the post office stating that I have a package waiting for me (when I wasn't expecting one) to make a full day of school and work worth it. I get really excited not knowing why I have a package and also impatient as I wait for a break in my day when I can run in and tell them my number to receive the overflowing envelope. Not to mention the joy of seeing it is from my Aunt Peggy who always includes fun school supplies, some form of chocolate, a decoration for the season, and something unexpected in every envelope. Last night I got one of these priceless emails and all day at work today I couldn't wait to get home and pick it up. I am officially renaming these so called care packages, warm and fuzzy packages. It's the only way to describe them. Today I got more of my favorite pens (I don't think my aunt knows I got hooked on them the last time she sent them to me) in all sorts of colors, lots of Ghirardelli chocolate that I shared with my friends and really cute paper. Despite the pens being a huge highlight my Aunt sent a bag full of buttons! (more on buttons later, they deserve their own blog post) In other words... I love packages and letters and anything in the mail and today was a better day because of it. =)