Crusade last night showed me a lot. I was reminded of how much I love worshiping God, how much I love singing, and how often I sing the words without really thinking about them. One song last night stuck out to me... It said:
"Lord I give you my heart.
I give you my soul.
I live for you alone."
I was singing away, really enjoying the music, when I sang those words and realized how I don't actually live for God alone. After that I felt a combination of feelings: sad that I can't sing those words in full truth, frustrated that I don't do something about that, and glad that God still takes me back even after I have run from him a gazillion times.
Another song, a few weeks ago, stuck out to me in the same way. This one said:
"Lord I want more of You
Living water rain down on me
Lord I need more of You
Living breath of life come fill me up
We are hungry
We are hungry for more of You."
I want that to be the desire of my heart. I want to be hungry for more of God. I want to be motivated to spend time with him and continually be living in his presence. Yesterday after blogging, I still didn't have an alone time with God. I learned about God and praised him at Crusade, but I didn't take the time to pray about the things on my mind or just give him the chance to guide me in my decisions. In the midst of singing to him I was still holding onto my life and living it for myself. So today, the second day of being honest with you, I am going to spend time with God... right. now.
P.S. Some of you might be wondering why I am blogging instead of just taking this time to read God's word and talk with him. Good thought. Truth is, I have enough time to do both I just chose not to yesterday and so far today I am choosing other things over alone time with God. So I am choosing Jesus time, starting now. =)