Mustard Seeds

Mustard Seeds

Monday, January 31, 2011

Florence and the Machine

I already knew I loved Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine but I was in for a huge surprise when You've Got the Love came on my itunes today. Here are the lyrics:

"Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"
But you've got the love I need To see me through

Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough
And things go wrong no matter what I do
Now and then it seems that life is just too much
But you've got the love I need to see me through

When food is gone you are my daily meal
When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real
Your love is real

You got the love (x6)

Time after time I think "Oh Lord what's the use?"

Time after time I think it's just no good
Sooner or later in life, the things you love you loose
But you got the love I need to see me through

You got the love

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"
But you've got the love I need to see me through

You got the love (x6)"

I love when famous bands have at least one song that worships God whether the artist intended for that to be the focus of their song or not. =)


This past week has been one of reminiscing. It is strange to feel transported to a different place entirely all because of a smell or taste. Here are a few examples:

1. Corn Beef Hash - I made this for brunch on Sunday... oddly enough (despite my pickyness) I loved it as much as I did as a kid.
2. Sandwich Factory - I ate there last week and I felt like it was freshman year all over again when you never ate a meal alone. I miss that a little bit.
3. Cowie - I had my mom send him up so he could once again be at college. I don't know why I missed the thing all of a sudden. Here is a previous post I did about Cowie. =)
4. Raw Top Ramen - I am eating this as we speak. This used to be my friend's and my favorite lunch in elementary school thought we were not allowed to have all that salt very often.
5. Listening to Jungle Jams - Seriously the best things for kids in the car. They still make my dad and I crack up.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Picture Musings

These are two pictures that I am especially proud of from the weekend and that really inspire me. Today it rained for twenty glorious minutes where I roller bladed in the backyard and drank tea. Bre and I took the time to capture the dew drops on the plants in our front yard after it stopped. 

I want to blow this picture up and put it on my wall. I can't take too much credit for it though, God was definitely responsible for ordaining those rain drops and making this new shoot grow out of the dark green, older vines. =)
This picture is from The Mission yesterday but I love how these two opposite plants are coexisting: delicate pink flowers alongside a sturdy succulent. God does some good work! =)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Picture Practice

I went to the San Luis Obispo Mission with Laura and Caitlin. I took it as an opportunity to mess around with my camera's settings.

Here I worked with my manual focus skills. =)
I would love to have a macro lens but for now I am working on getting close up shots of things without my camera refusing to take the picture.
  I tried to work with aperture to get the colors accurately.
 The lighting was fun to work with on this shot.
 If anything, this proves that anyone can take cool pictures. It just takes practice and picking people's brains about how to adjust the settings on your camera.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Classrooms lead to Craftrooms

Another thing I have a hard time giving up to the idea of Haiti is a craft room like this. This is beautiful...
 This would be a dream come true for me... I think.
I am still praying for God to change my heart to be more trusting of Him but I definitely need to pray more than I have been... I keep forgetting.

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Journaled Something

I would like to share what I journaled today, mainly because this is what I am struggling with right now and secondly because I have had a hard time opening up lately and sharing this with you all is one way to really do that.

Begin entry:
"I've been struggling lately with my future. I feel like God is calling me to Haiti, to live full time as a missionary, in a few years. While this sounds adventurous and wonderful I am wrestling with the images I have always had of my future. It can be summed up with one thing: elementary school classrooms. Cute classrooms that smell of Elmer's glue and paper mache pretty much encapsulate everything I would miss if I went to Haiti.

I want a lot of things, material things, that I couldn't have in a third world country but the main thing is that I want to live the life my mom had. I want to be able to volunteer in my kids classrooms, covered in bright posters outlining the stages of a volcano with baskets for school supplies and hooks to hang backpacks on. In my spare time I want come into said classrooms and teach crafts to my kid's classmates or bring in cupcakes on their birthdays.

I want American life with a nice kitchen, air conditioning, hospitals, and Target. I want a comfortable income that I earn in a paycheck, not through other people supporting me. I want cute elementary school classrooms for my kids. But even as I think about those things I wonder if they would actually be what I want. I feel that living my ideal life would leave me restless and unsatisfied (even if I was following the Lord).

Maybe since God has burdened my heart for Haiti already, I can't go back to my old visions for life. Maybe since I have already established that I am much different than my mom, I can't live the same life as her and be content. Maybe the struggle I am having with all of this is because God wants me to be okay with giving up my ideas. He might not intend for to me to go to Haiti after all but rather just learn to trust Him. I have no idea what He has planned but I do know that right now He is asking: "Whatever your future, whatever I will ask you to do, I want you to be joyful to give it. I want you to be okay with not treasuring earthly possessions. I want to be the only thing that matters. Will you work towards that joy with me?"

My answer: "Yeah I guess so...?" It is hard for me to even be willing to start relying on God. =/ I know He can change my heart but I have to be okay with Him even doing that. So step one, be willing to change. Orevwa classrooms! You will be my ideal no longer!.... hopefully."

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Inspiration from Apis Mellifera

I have a story:

I had work at the crack of dawn yesterday.
I was tired and cold and wanted to go home.
I was reading the January edition of "The American Bee Journal."
There were bees flying around on occasion.
I rescued one from a spider web.
Then she came.
Covered from head fuzzies to toes in pollen.
Bright yellow.
I smiled, wiped the beginnings of tears from my eyes, and thanked God for her.
For a present that not many people would understand.
For reminding me that I have a passion for these little girls for a reason.
For giving me something to rejoice in. 
For refreshment, contentment, Joy.

(she held still long enough for me to take pictures with my cell phone and for me to study her up close)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Foothill Blvd

This is the street that I am blessed to live on this year. Every time I drive by these fields and ponds (which is a few times a week) I am blown away by how beautiful San Luis Obispo is. So last week I ran home, got my camera, and dragged my roommate out to the side of the road to capture this scene to share with you. =)

This looks very East Coast to me... though I have never been there. =)
SLO sunsets never get old.