Another, rather large, thing that God is teaching me lately is regarding my sin. Mis pecados. That sounds scary. It is a hard thing when God shows you where you are failing. But in this case it was just plain eye opening.
I don’t struggle with what I used to call “big sins”: sexual sins, murder, stealing, cheating, etc. So when people would talk about being convicted of sins I would draw a blank. “I’m a good person.” I would think. And right there, did you catch it?, is where I am sinning. My sin is not so much tangible in the things I do but rather in what I think, and what I say. I struggle not with a quickly destructive sin but rather a slow cancerous one that separates me from people and God. I struggle with Pride. Pride that grows as I think I am better than other people, that spreads as I refuse to acknowledge it, that riddles my life with tumors as I think that I am not in need of God’s grace. And I think, or maybe I know, that pride is more dangerous than the things I don’t struggle with. Mainly, because thinking I am above sin adds to my self-centeredness and encourages me to nurse my cancer to health.
As I have been thinking about it, God keeps revealing areas where in fact I do sin tangibly as well. It’s as if a wall was broken down, the blinders were taken off, and I can see myself for the broken person I really am. And I can accept God’s grace. I can appreciate his love and sacrifice for me. I love it.