God spoke a word to me when I was graduating college and leaving SLO that He would “never give me more than one step of my life at a time.” He has been faithful to that. It was only when I was returning from Haiti that summer that I knew I was accepted to Ventana and it was only on the final day of Ventana last year that He confirmed I would be returning this year to Mexico. So I don’t expect to know my next life step until the end of this year in Ventana or later. So I am making no plans, those are God’s to make and keep, but I do feel that I can see a pattern of how God is shaping me and preparing me for something. And I am honestly scared and nervous for where He could be leading me.
Last year God worked on my heart a lot to give up things I was holding onto. This year, now that I am less attached to things, I feel God preparing me to go. Go like Paul in the Great Commission. Go like Hudson Taylor to Inland China where no other missionaries had gone before. Go like Jim Elliot to a people who have never heard the name of God. And that is frightening to think about. Scary and exciting. I think.
I don’t have much else to say about it but I do know am praying over the idea that I could be going to an unreached people group next year or maybe in a couple of years. And I am continuing to pray, not for direction or plans, but for a heart for the lost and the skills I need to be sent to the nations. I am also praying for the lessons I need to learn to soak into my life. I want to be formed for what God has for me and I hope I am not too daft to miss what He is doing in my life right now. =)