Mustard Seeds

Mustard Seeds

Saturday, May 10, 2014

My Favorite Married Woman

Sometimes when I am baking cookies or embroidering a present for someone I think the admittedly prideful thought of, "man, I would make such a cute wife." I don't know when in my education as a woman I got the idea that being crafty or put together in a kitchen would make me a great spouse for someone... but I have to follow-up that first thought with a hard look at how I view marriage. Because I am pretty sure a handmade driftwood wreath would not serve well as a lifesaver in a relationship.

When I think of my main example of a wife, she is a really cute one. But even if my mom wasn't the most creative person on this planet that she is, I am convinced my parents would still have the successful marriage that they do. So what is it that my mom has practiced, and honed, to be the supportive and lovely wife that she is?

I thought the best place to start would be to ask the one my mom has journeyed with for 29 years... "Papa Tim." So I did. I picked his brain and laughed a lot as he kept trying to pass the phone to my mom. 

Here's what I got: It is about the little things. The daily things.

My dad loves that my mom cares for his needs so well: that she cleans and cooks and provides a home for our family that rocks. And he loves her money savvy. (He said it is hard on a relationship to have someone who doesn't have financial restraint. It is a big thing in marriage.) I loved the simplicity in why our home is so happy. It is because they serve each other. It doesn't have to be a complicated show of affection all the time. They don't have to look put together all the time. They just have to be selfless and care for the other person's needs. I thought that was encouraging. My dad said, "We are kind of organic, it kind of just happens."

The best advice came at the end of the conversation, however, when my mom said, "You can't change them. If they are a slob going in, they will stay a slob*." I think that speaks to more than meets the eye. We can't change other people, but we can change ourselves (something I have been really learning lately). We can choose to love someone for everything that they are, dirty sock-leaving habits included.

And love each other they do. It's inspiring and refreshing. Thank you mom for being such an amazing example of a servant and a wife. Thank you for making it possible for us three girls to be successful in life and in Amanda's case, marriage. You are my rock and my most favorite woman of all time. I couldn't do the things that I do without you walking me through every step (just think of how many times I have called asking how to hard boil eggs) and without you being supportive of me in all things. You are beautiful!


*By the way, my parents are both extremely organized and clean... =) 

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